"These Dreams, go on when I close my eyes . . ."

lyrics from "These Dreams" (Heart)

It finally happened – I had “the dream”. The dream where you slide into bed, and wrap your arms around me. You’re telling me that you are here with me and will not leave me again. I can smell you, touch you. I literally squeeze your arm and smell it, knowing that it is you and I begin to cry. I repeatedly ask “why”, to which I get no real answer. I’ve read about widows having these dreams; sometimes bringing comfort, sometimes bringing sadness. While desiring to have such a dream, I have really been dreading it as well. Because I know that I won’t want to wake up and I won’t want it to end. Sadly, it does – abruptly. I’m not certain what woke me up, but I desperately attempted to get back to sleep, to that dream – that smell – and that touch! I continued to close my eyes and concentrate, but It never happened. I never went back to sleep, and now I am left sad, lonely and wanting you desperately. I could be in a room with a thousand people right now and still be alone. I am reaching deep within myself to keep going and stay strong. I love you Babe, and my heart is aching terribly tonight.