Thursday, November 7, 2013

First Holiday without You . . .



. . . and I am really dreading it. We usually did something lazy, and I am sure that we would have spent part of the weekend watching a marathon of Band of Brothers, a fantastic mini-series. It doesn’t seem right watching it without you, and I’m not really certain what I am going to do. I’ve got a long list of things that I still need to finish up from the chaos that began on September 17th. I’ve been putting them all off, hoping that if I don’t finish them, maybe this really isn’t “real”. I keep looking for signs that you are with me and have found none. I have felt you a few times, but I don’t know if it’s wishful thinking or if you are really there. I miss our old life! Many would think it was boring, but I thought it was bliss – pure bliss! 

Little Guy (your furbuddy) is sitting here with me. He keeps me company a lot of the time, as he seems lost without you too! Even though I chose to call him Dakota, I now call him Little Guy. He likes it, and it just seems to fit him now. I know that he and Blue both miss you, as they both are clingy when I return from work. Work – ugh! I now hate it, not because I am away from you, but because I can’t be with you! I continue to go, not only because it pays the bills, but also occupies my time. I still dread the daily “How are you doing?”, but I don’t openly cry anymore. Has it really been 56 days since you left me?!?!?! Love you Babe (and so do the furkids, Blue and Little Guy)!


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