It has now been two months since you left me (sounds so cold, and I feel it to the bone). I can’t believe that it will be 2
months tomorrow and the holidays will soon be here. There will definitely be a
large hole without you this year, and I can’t imagine not buying you a special
Christmas gift or you getting those wonderful stocking stuffers on Christmas
eve. How can this be?!?!? I don’t even know how to accept this fact of my new weird
widow life.
Work is really busy right now, so I don’t have a lot of time
to dwell and grow sad, but I know that the pain will come (and am dreading it).
Trying to catch up on laundry and groceries, as tomorrow will begin a new work
week, and I need to focus. I am expected to perform, and I will not disappoint. I am still
amazed at how the world just continues "on" even though you are not here. I know
that this statement sounds trivial to some, but it is soooo true! The world
should have stopped – taken a pause. Some days I feel like I am running as fast
as I can to catch the day and I never do. I missed the meteor shower early this
morning (because I didn’t have you to wake me up like you always did), and it
makes me sad. I know that things will never be the same, but I desperately want
them to go back to the way they were before. We were happy and together – as we
should be. I shouldn’t be here alone (but, yeah - I am). Love you Babe!
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