". . . and the songbirds are singing, like they know the score; I love You like never before"

Lyrics from Songbird (Fleetwood Mac)

Well, I am back home again. It has been a while since I was here (maybe 3 years?). Some things have changed drastically in this town in 22 years, and others have stayed the same. I keep catching myself daydreaming about us in our younger days. Enjoying the bliss of being young, naive and full of love. Love for each other, family and life. Our lives together began here. We met here, dated here, married here and had our family here before moving on to greater opportunities. The weather has been unusually warm these past few days and what I notice most is how loud the birds are every morning. They are all chattering and carrying on, like there is big news that they can’t keep to themselves. What would have annoyed me a few years ago, now warms my heart. I am taking the sounds (and sights) in and trying to remember how great it was when we were living here. I know I can’t go back, but for a short time in my mind’s memory, I DO go back and daydream of wonderful times gone by.

It’s been a rough couple of days. In just 30 days’ time, I have seen my mother become a very fragile and weak woman. She reminds me of my grandmother, who was so petite, yet a very strong woman. This existence is against all that she is made of and it breaks my heart to see her this way. I am attempting to be strong, but am numb and frozen from the shock of this latest event in my new WWL. In this situation, I am glad that you can’t see her deterioration, but so sad that I can’t lean on you and hear your wonderful encouraging words. I come from a long line of very strong women and attempt to remember that when I feel I can’t do this. Thankfully, my mom's sisters gently remind me that I can do this.

Why is my life changing so fast when I am just attempting to adjust “one-change-at-a-time”? I want the world to slow down and let me attempt to digest and understand these past few months. To learn from them and make wise decisions is my hope, but I’m struggling. I love you babe, and I feel you with me everywhere I go when I am here. Welcome home!