I was so anxious about my first Christmas without you. It
wasn’t near as bad as I had imagined. In fact, the days leading up to Christmas Day were much harder, particularly Christmas Eve (which was always “our” time).
I am so glad to have one holiday behind me and only 1 more to go to get me through this season. Each day
begins with ‘another day without you here’, but I accept the fact that this is
my new existence. I’ve really cocooned myself here in our home with the
furkids, and I find comfort here. I am in no hurry to venture out and can see
myself becoming a hermit (or crazy cat lady).
The day proved uneventful - there were no surprise visitors and I watched twisted Christmas movies with our son. Neither of us left the house and we stayed in our pajamas all day. I tried to remember events from last Christmas and it is all just a fog for now. I can't remember what we gave each other, but I know that we exchanged gifts. It was strange not buying a gift for you this year, and I kept catching myself saying "oh, he'd love this!" I keep reading that the pain will diminish; it hasn't let up so far.
I love you with all my being Babe
– Merry Christmas!
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