Day 96, and I am no more at peace than I was at Day 1. I
never thought I would say it, but I will just put it out there – “Christmas
sucks!” I’ve always loved Christmas and particularly the past 32 years, because
you were there. You were my eyes to the childish joy of Christmas, with all its
wonders and magic! So here I sit, attempting to grasp my feelings and complete the
tasks that you and I did together. The annual newsletter, the cards, the tree,
the decorating. It all makes my head spin now. I really have no desire to do
any of it, as I’m just going through the motions. I finally broke down and
got a tree yesterday, justifying that the fur-kids should still have a tree to
climb on and torment. A task that we would normally have done in hours took me
all day and all of the ornaments are still in the box – waiting. There is a
wreath on the front door and garland on the fireplace. This year, that will be
the extent of my decorating, as my heart is not into this tradition that we
shared. I fear that these will soon be traditions of Christmas Past and I will
become the ultimate Scrooge. If I could hide away from all things Christmas for
the next 2 weeks, I would.
The only day I dread more is New Year’s – what will
2014 offer me?!?! I haven’t a clue – I just know that it will be a long and
lonely journey.
Will I ever experience the joy of Christmas again? I can
only hope (and dream). Love you as much as I did 32 years ago Babe – wow, this
is so hard without you!
No comments:
Post a Comment