I keep getting asked why so many quotes from Fleetwood Mac in my blog posts.
Not many knew that Fleetwood Mac was a favorite of yours; not to mention that
Stevie Nicks was the hottest chick on your list. Through the years, I’ve
listened to and really liked some of their songs, but I was never a dedicated
follower. Now that you have been gone for almost 3 months (un-f’n-believable),
I find that I am desperately reaching for ANYTHING that reminds me of you, and
Fleetwood Mac music is one of those things. I’ve added a playlist to my phone
and listen to it endlessly commuting back and forth to work every day. Here are
some other strange things that I’ve noticed that I now do:
The Bed - your side of the bed is never touched (except for
Lil Guy), and I lovingly straighten it every morning. I no longer sleep under
the covers and haven’t since the night you left me alone. I am not sure why, as
you know that I don’t sleep soundly unless I am under the covers. I also bought
a new coverlet, as the one we had was really quite nasty between you and the
furkids. I’d like to romantically say that your “scent” is comforting, but you
and I both know that you working all day in the yard and coming in and plopping
your dust-covered body on the bed was not very appealing to the senses (sorry).
The bathroom sink – your side of the sink is left spotless
and your razor and toothbrush are untouched on your side of the drawer. Even
though I have been able to clear out most of your things, this spot remains
sacred.
The closet – your side is again untouched, except for organizing
your shoes, hats and ties. I frantically search for anything with your smell
there, and I just can’t find it. I keep hoping that it’s my senses that are off
and that I will one day find that smell.
Your jeans – the last pair you wore. I have them, unwashed
and now secured in a ziplock, hoping to save the one last smell of you forever.
Your cologne/aftershave – I have it tucked in my sock drawer
and every day I dab some on the top of my hand so that I can smell you whenever
I want to (which is often). Even though you haven’t worn this scent for a
while, you wore it for decades and you knew how much I loved it as your
signature scent.
Pictures – I am finding pictures of you tucked everywhere.
We weren’t near as organized with our photos as I thought we were. Now I need
to make certain that yours are all together and protected, as they should be
(of course, after scanning every single one of them). I find them, and then
delicately place them in labeled bags, to be cataloged when I have more time. I
haven’t located our wedding album yet, but I know that it’s here somewhere. It
will be my greatest treasure when it’s found – so I’ve begun the hunt.
Dreams – you are becoming a regular subject of my dreams,
and I now find comfort in them. It took a while, as at first, I just wanted to
join you wherever you are and never wake up. Now I am waking up and thankful
that I was able to spend some of my time with you, all by myself.
